Made for you
by mcnabb2011
Summary: Set after Arizona goes to Africa, Arizona dosent come back. Callie rebuilds her broken life, and agrees to join a medical organisation who have shortlisted her for one of their new projects. Will there paths cross again?
1. Chapter 1

We sacrifice. We surrender everything for the ones we love sometimes, sometimes the sacrifice - the suicidal pact - burns, damages and if deep enough can break a person. Yet, we do not heed warning, we miss all the road signs, blinded by blond curls and hopes, aspirations for what could be. We do not see past the rose tinted bubble that we live in, we do not see that we are in fact playing roulette. The brunette who sat in her office, huddled over her desk, her steady hands trembling. She had played. And lost.

The blond woman she had sacrificed everything for, had watched her fall as she abandoned her in the airport. The blonde that had once held her in her arms, fastened the straps of the brunettes straight- jacket. She had won, she had destroyed Calliope Torres and without a second glance.

The Ortho surgeon was now left to pick up the pieces, like the bone fragments she repaired, she had to pick up the pieces of her life and be condemned. She sat in her office at the same time every night, it was her sanctuary. No one could see her tears, her anger, her resentment for everyone around her. She allowed herself to cry so that she could cut, mend and repair lives even if she couldn't fix her own.

Her pager beeped as she stepped outside her office.

" Dr. Torrez, Smith to Chief's Office."

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><p>Tuesday, Day 64.<p>

The blonde crossed off another door on her small calendar, the only item she had found the energy to unpack. It almost felt like if she didn't unpack she wasn't there, the small taste of denial was bittersweet. " 1029 Days" she whispered falling back onto the bed. Her pink, sunburned skin glistened with tears. 1029 days without doughnuts, a hot bath and her, the woman who has captivated her mind ever since she had arrived in Seattle Grace. Her girlf- her ex girlfriend, she thought her trembling fingers covering her eyes.

She had lied, pushed the most important thing out of life. Callie would of resented her, hated her if she hadn't pushed her away, that's what she told herself at least.

Arizona would fulfil her oath as a surgeon. She would live through the searing pain and save lives, countless lives as she watched her own fade away. Knowing that she could do nothing to stop it. There was no procedure, no surgical choice, nothing, it was a tiny, inoperable tumour that lay dormant in the base of her mind. Acknowledged but never spoken of. She was Arizona Robbins, the woman who abandoned her amazing girlfriend in an airport without even a second glance. She had played. And lost.

* * *

><p>Callie held the letter in her hand, the brown envelope discarded on the table. Her eyes traced the dotted line at the bottom. She took a mouthful from the bottle of tequila in her hand and sat it down on the coffee table.<p>

She signed the letter. She was going to rebuild herself, at least that's what she hoped.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I know the first Chapter was a bit angst and 'frown-ey,' but it gets better. **_

_Callie Pov. _

_The days following my enlistment were a haze. The chief accepted the councils application and I signed a contract to return to work in six months. I left the next day, I couldn't face anyone. I knew it was dangerous, reckless even but I needed it. I needed to be a badass, I needed to get my magic back. I slipped a letter under Marks door, promising to ring him in a few days and left out the remainder of my rent for Cristina. And left with nothing but a fragile ego and a sports bag._

_I signed in for duty, went for my induction to the medical team and attended the necessary self-defence programs that was required. And then I did something so horrible, so stupid that I really did question my intellectual ability. I agreed to a two month tour of Mali and be shipped to Africa. Not Iran or even Saudi Arabia. No. I was going to Africa, I was going to be in the same continent as her. _

_The Director had called it a 'tribal indifference' and that surgeons were needed to be deployed immediately. It was stupid, reckless even, but I agreed. And within 26 hours I was standing in Mali at deaths door. _

_Shacks were on fire, children were crying over the distant sound of gunshots. I swallowed the lump in my throat. If I was going to find the inner rock star, it was going to be here. That's if I survive. Tribal indifference my ass. _

_Day 12._

_14 men died today. There had been an ambush south of the village. The U.N. had called in for more reinforcements, but the violence only seems to increase. I managed to ring Mark again today. He was angry as I expected but worried. Apparently the troubles are covered every hour in the news as the death toll rises._

_I collapsed into my bed, and put my fingers up to myears. The screams they never seemed to leave, echoing through my ears. That night was the first night I slept without crying, I had bigger problems than being abandoned in an airport. _

_Day 15._

_Angola had been taken. The neutral state was under a cloud of suspicion over the few days but this morning the troops were deployed and the news spread through the medical centre like wildfire. The violence was heading further south, I thought the knot in my stomach tightened. My eyes watched the narrow ridge of land that separated Tanzania from Zambia. It was the one area that I listened out for everyday- Malawi. _

_It was the one of the protected states, so in theory it wouldn't be attacked, but so was Angola. It seems in war torn Africa, no one or state was safe._

_Day 19._

_The hot general surgeon Lesley, asked me out today, I said that I was to busy. Which isn't really a lie. _

_Day 21_

_The troubles has spread across Mali. I fear that I wont be reassigned fast enough. Lesley, myself , Smith along with 12 other physicians are to deployed to another zone any day now. _

_Day 26. _

_A soldier carried a woman into the clinic today. Her clavicle was protruding through the skin, leaving the wound exposed. Her left leg was blown off in what I suspected to be an explosion, judging by the burns covering the area. Her right leg needed to be displaced and popped back into place._

" _I'm going to administer some pain meds, they will help take away some of the pain, okay" I said. The woman nodded bleakly. The pain was evident across her face._

" _I'm going to return to the field" The soldier said as he let go of the woman's hand. His english accent evident. _

" _Were are you from?" I asked. But to no reply. It was frustrating trying to help a patient when they didn't speak much or any English. I lifted the Tibia, when the woman's hand suddenly pointed to the wall. I looked over at the map that hung on the wall. Do you want to show me? I asked curiously. _

_I took the map down and showed it to the woman. _

" _If you can show me where you live I can help you." I said again. Her finger pointed down to a blue area. I looked down. My breath hitched in my mouth, fear radiated through me. Tanzania had been taken, Malawi would fall. _

_The walls of the clinic shook, knocking my equipment to the floor. I fell to the ground, dust instantly surrounded the room. A series of bangs followed, the woman shouted something that I couldn't understand. There was a loud platter of bare feet and in the doorway I watched as crowd of men gather, there skin darkened with dried blood, and their guns pointed._

_The room shook again and I looked up as a large section of plaster and wood came down._

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	3. Chapter 3

**A bit less angst. **

**Chapter 3.**

**Arizona POV.**

215 unopened, unsent letters lay tucked away in my sock drawer. I wrote a letter almost everyday, it helped to take the pinch of the searing pain that enveloped me.

_14th__ March 2011_

_Day 215. _

_Calliope, _

_I saved a girl today, her name is Jean, at least that's what we think. She doesn't have much English and the words she does have are slurred and illegible. A soldier carried her in this morning, her father was dead upon arrival and her mother was sent to another medical clinic. Isn't that horrible? I promised her I would find her mother, which probably is bad, very bad. In medical school we were taught that we shouldn't become to attached that we should cover the patients face, but I care. In some way, in some distorted way I am the little girl searching for her better half- for you. I hope some day, that these letters reach you, that I have the courage to give them to you. I love you, God, I love you so much, if my tears were footsteps I would be at your door.:-)_

_With all my love, _

_Arizona. _

I placed the crisp write paper into the brown envelope. My fingers traced the letters of Calliope name and then I tucked it away with the others.

" I am making a difference. I am making a difference" I whispered, hoping someday, someday in the future I would grow to believe it that the good that I was doing would outbalance the love that filled my every breath and the pain that seared through every heart beat.

My breath hitched in my throat. My eyes scanned over Teddy's email. Gone. She was Gone. I swallowed the lump in my throat and urged my trembling fingers to reply.

Teddy.

Sorry I haven't had a chance to look at my e-mail in the past few weeks, the lines have been down for a while since the fighting started up north. No, I would be surprised if anything got through the security here, I cant even go to the bathroom without being eyed. The U.N. have called for state of protection over Malawi and south Tanzania, the north has been taken from what filters down to me. But, What the hell do you mean Callie's gone? Where? Why? Is she coming back? Which Organisation is she enlisting with? Teddy so help you god if you take longer than 24 hours to reply.:-(

Love Arizona.

" Dr. Robbins, Dr. Robbins, the girl she's coding." The patients papers fell to the floor. " Crash Cart" I yelled as I rounded the corner. The girls eyes had glazed over, endless white stared back at me, as her body buckled under the weight of her tonic seizure. " 25 of Buccal Dizapam, stat" I ordered. I was not going to lose this girl.

" BP, dropping, the nurse said she took the gauge of the girls arm, the small inaccurate screen beeped slowly. I watched as the pulse dropped, fast. " Paddles, charge to 20" The girls chest heaved, but her vitals didn't move. I would not lose you, not the two of you.

" 25 Benzandine and charge the paddles to 250" I felt eyes burn into back of my skull.

" Now" I ordered again, taking the paddles into my own hands. Her whole body lifted off the bed. And silence covered everything, the light, the objects in the room, mobility to breath and then it was gone. Beep. " Vitals rising"

" BP returning." Another nurse said. I gave the necessary instructions, finding quite easily the murmur in the girls lungs. " Trapped fluid, 250ml syringe." I said to Katie, the dark haired nurse. I inserted the needle into the right lung, gauging, hoping it was the right one. The syringe filled with blue fluid, I breathed a sign of relief. I am not going to lose you I thought before I moved my eyes to a pair of green ones.

Green eyes licked across my neck and hovered over my chest. " Nurse Lennon?" I asked, here eyes snapped back to my face, her pale skin covered by a deep crimson blush. " Do you want me to help you?" She asked, her slender fingers pointing to the syringe in my hand. The words left my mouth harsher than I had anticipated. " No"

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	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4.**_

_Calliope, _

_I am so terrified, so scared out of my mind. I find myself sitting beside the radio in the cllinic like a war torn wife, awaiting, hoping and praying that it is not your name. That you are not one of those stupid impulsive adventure hungry doctors that joins Doctors without boundries. Because you may think its badass but its not, its stupid, its_

I drew a big line through the letter.

_Calliope, _

_I haven't slept in two weeks, my dreams are constantly full of different scenarios that you hopefully will never find yourself in and now, they plaque me even while I'm awake. Every waking minute I spend, I am terrified. I hope that while I'm writing this that you are well, that you are in a lab somewhere, creating cartilage from…doughnuts or something else more medically relevant. As I write this I know that this idea, this hope is all but an aspiration. You are to crazy, too much of an badass to be stuck in a lab, you are simply amazing. Even though I am angry, so angry that I just want to hit something, someone. I still cant help but think how truly amazing you are. Please be safe, please my Calliope don't do anything rash._

_P.S. ignore the message above my message._

_P.P.S. A nurse asked me out today. Her eyes were green, I like brown._

_Sending love in Africa, I hope you can come see it with me one day._

_Ari_

As I tucked the letter neatly into its pile, wrapping the elastic band around the envelopes, my phone rang.

" Hello?"

" Dr. Arizona Robbins"

" Yes, Speaking"

" This is Colonel James Montgomery. We have a situation."

I had ten minutes left before the colonel was to arrive. I had my trauma team arranged and briefed. We managed to clear five rooms for the oncoming casualties. The medical clinic in Mali had been attacked, 12 patients were set to arrive, two of them doctors. We were the only state that does not show any threat of violence so we were in the colonels words their only choice.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment. It was going to be a long day.

As I opened my eyes a small icon popped up on the computer screen.

_You have one new message._

I clicked on the message and the five minutes it took to load seemed to never end.

_Hey,_

_I just got off the phone with Sloan and he said that he hadn't heard off her in a week but that she was stationed in a clinic in wait for it….Mali. She's in Africa Ari. She's gone to Africa. I mean of the places, she's in Africa. You should go see her, you really should go see her, Okay. And when you see her will you tell her to give Mark a ring, he is a bit on edge about her being in the middle of a war torn country and all. Hope you are keeping well. Talk to you soon._

Ted.

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped wide. She was in Africa, she was- Mali.<p>

" No" My heart missed a beat. " . No" The breath had suddenly escaped my body. I was oblivious to everything, to the nurses calling me to the landing bay. Jean calling for her mommy and to the sound of an overhead chopper.

Then reality snapped back, bursting the cold, black bubble that had surrounded me. I ran down the hall, my heart racing and my breathing was erratic.

" Please" I whispered. As I pushed through double doors, the sun blinding me as I stepped outside. I put a hand over my eyes blocking the golden rays. Two men were talking to DR. Kotin, the trauma surgeon. The doors of the helicopter slid open, There a few feet from me, not 25000 miles away. Stood the women who had destroyed my every sane thought, the women I thought would never see this clinic and she was amazing. Truly amazing.

Her long raven hair was shorter, it fell in curls below her chin. Her tanned skin was blotchy from what seemed to be dried blood and dirt. She jumped to the ground, the women in her arms let out a whimper as Callie fell to her knees. Her eyes rolled up to look at me. A team of nurses rushed to the woman in her arms.

I took a small step towards her, wanting to run to her side. I wanted to kiss away the cuts that I could now see scattered across her body. Her trousers were torn, revealing her long, tanned legs. Her shirt hung loosely from her body in rags. This woman, had been through only God knows what and yet she was simply amazing, breathtakingly stunning.

She looked at me as a nurse tried to get her to stand. Bodies hit my back, as stretchers were rolled out. I ran to her. My body fell beside hers. A tear rolled down her cheek, her perfect beautiful brown, not green, but brown beautiful eyes.

She looked at me, a small smile on her lips.

" I found you"

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